Flu Season
by Dresden-Neville
Summary: Simple. Sirius gets the flu. Not simple. Sirius getting the flu. Contains Slash. The plot gets thicker though in later chapters. AU in some chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Nothing belongs to me o' course. 'Cept the plot.

Contains- Slash.

Chapter 1- The Train Ride to Hogwarts: 5th Year

Sirius black stumbled onto the train lugging his trunk behind him. He already has his school robes on, unlike everyone else. _Although everyone else didn't have to hide the bruises either. _He made his way through the crowded hallways and when he came upon the last room on the left he walked in slamming the door shut. Inside three bodies jumped, but Sirius barely noticed. He threw his trunk up on the empty rail space and sat down beside the window.

The compartment was silent for a moment but soon carried on with conversation of the summer. The other three, James, Remus and Peter were used to Sirius' summer mood changes. It happened everytime he went home. What they didn't know was that each trip since their third year had gotten steadily worse. Sirius leaned his aching head against the cool window. Now his father had taken to beating him. At first it had only been his mother, but somehow he had pissed off his father. Now they both took turns.

Sirius felt Remus gently insert his fingers into Sirius' hand. Sirius squeezed them, a little sign that he didn't want to talk right now. Instead of squeezing back as he usually did Remus leaned on him.

"We saw what your father did, Sirius. Hell, the whole train station saw it."

Sirius turned toward Remus. Blue stormy eyes held brown honeyed ones until Sirius took his hood off. Remus carefully brushed the already bruised skin of Sirius' right cheek. James looked at the bruise and his face took an angered expression.

"I can't believe no one did or said anything," James said disgusted, "They have no right."

"What happened to make him do this?" Remus asked.

"I..don't know," Sirius answered truthfully, "I was going to get on the train when he pulled me toward him and smacked the crap out of me. He goes through so many moods toward me. One day he'll tolerate me the next he'll hate me."

Sirius swallowed painfully. His throat was sore and he coughed. The door slid opened and Lily Evans stood there.

"Remus did you forget? We have duties," She said giving James a smile. He had won her heart over the summer.

Remus gave a sheepish smile and stood up. He gave Sirius a small kiss on the forehead and followed Lily out. James leaned back on the seat, clearly in a state of pure love. Sirius rolled his eyes and laid down. The light was hurting his eyes and he closed them.

"Don't forget to wake me up when the train stops. After all, we don't want a recap of fourth year."

James grinned. "I was pulling out gray hair from my ears for weeks. Don't worry we'll wake you."

Sirius turned over, pulling his robe over him tighter. He wanted to ask if it was cold in here or just him, but the movement of the train pulled him into a heavy sleep.

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Remus shook Sirius' shoulder hard. Sirius was an extraordinarly hard sleeper which caused problems most of the time. Especially when they got hold of some firewhiskey. Then when morning came it was even harder to get the animagus awake.

"Siri, wake up! We're at school," Remus said.

Sirius sat up and blinked trying to force his eyes open. Remus pulled him out of the compartment and off the train. Sirius finally woke up enough to get into the carriages by himself. Sirius noticed his throat was still sore, if not even worse than before. His head was also pounding. He shivered as a chill made its way through his body. The carriages made their way to the castle and for once the conversation inside the maruaders' carriage was quiet and calm. Remus leaned toward Sirius.

"Are you okay? You look pale and flushed."

Sirius looked over. "I think I'm getting sick," Sirius replied softly. He brought his hand covering a well timed cough.

Remus pulled Sirius closer to him and Sirius was grateful for the warmth. The cold rain outside was an unwelcomed wake up call. Sirius almost fell asleep again but the carriage came to a stop and they walked the short walk to the castle and into the Great Hall. The marauders sat in their usual spots and Lily sooned joined them, taking her seat. James grabbed her hands, blowing on them.

"James I'm ok. It's not that cold out there."

"I don't want you getting sick, like ol' Padfoot here," James motioned with his and her hands.

Lily looked over there at Sirius, whose head was down on the table. Remus was holding a whispered conversation with him and when Remus picked his head up, Lily could see Remus was worried and a bit annoyed. He caught her eye and Remus shook his head. Lily knew that Sirius hated going to Madam Pomfrey and wouldn't unless it was life or death.

The rest of the meal passed by with rather quickly in James' opinion and they headed up to the dorms. Remus was grateful when Lily said she could do their duties by herself. It left him to stay with Sirius, who still refused to go to the hospital wing. Remus dragged Sirius out of the crowd and up a different route to the Fat Lady. They arrived before anyone else and since Sirius was a Prefect he already knew the password.

"Firewhiskey."

Sirius gave a small smile. "I love that password."

"I thought you would," Remus answered softly.

Remus made Sirius sit on the bed and bent down ready to take off his shoes. Sirius grabbed his hands.

"I'm sick, not dying nor invalid," Sirius replied, "But I thank you anyway."

Remus sat up beside Sirius on the bed. Sirius gave a fake smile and looked forward. Remus watched Sirius' eyes get red and a few tears fall.

"I'm sorry Sirius," Remus whispered pulling Sirius into a hug. Sirius clutched Remus tightly, trying not to give into the sob that wanted out. It was no use though. Thinking about how much had happened over the summer and the love that Remus gave unconditionally, Sirius lost control.

The door opened slowly behind Sirius and Remus saw James walk in softly. The bespectabled teen walked over there and kneeled in front of them. Sirius let go of Remus in almost a reluctant manner and faced his best friend.

"Listen, Padfoot, I've been thinking and I talked it over with my parents. They said they'd love to have you until we come of age."

Sirius sniffed and gave a weak smile. "Yeah I'd like that."

James grinned. "Good, it's set. I'll send an owl tomorrow morning. Get some rest, Sirius."

James left the room and by a strangled cry Remus thought James must have grabbed Peter as he was walking by. Remus shook his head as Sirius let out a cough. And another one. And another. And another.

"You alright?"

Sirius nodded not able to talk yet. Finally he calmed down and threw his shoes off, snuggling deep in the blankets. Remus began walking to his own bed when Sirius grabbed his hand.

"Stay with me, please? It's cold."

Remus smiled. "You know I can't resist you."

"I know it."

Remus pulled his own shoes off, getting into comfortable pajamas. He then crawled in beside Sirius taking him in his arms. Sirius was asleep in seconds. Remus on the other hand was awake. He heard James and Peter tiptoe in, get dressed and get into bed. He was awake when Peter started his heavy snoring and James slapped a pillow over the rat's face. Finally as the waning moon was dimming, Remus closed his eyes welcoming the long coming sleep.

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Remus yawned over his parchment. He almost wished that he could change places with Sirius, who was sleeping. _Although it wasn't exactly peaceful sleep._ Sirius was terribly clogged up and Remus thought he felt hints of a fever. Remus sighed as he turned the page of his transfiguration book. The words blurred together and Remus knew he was impossible. He would just have to do it tonight. The bell rang to change classes and Remus stood up, yawning again. James poked his shoulder.

"We have Binns' class next. I can take notes until you get there," James offered, Lily at his shoulder.

Remus smiled gratefully. "Yeah sure. I'll meet you there."

And with that he headed up to Gryffindor's tower. He entered their dorms and walked over to the empty bed. Setting his books at the end of it, Remus wondered where Sirius could be. Then he heard the sound of retching coming from the bathroom. Remus winced a bit at the sound. He waited until Sirius had stopped before joining the sick pup in the bathroom. Sirius was leaning against the toliet, his flushed face shining with a thin layer of sweat. He looked up when he heard echoed footsteps.

"Hey Moony," Sirius greeted hoarsly, "Aren't you supposed to be in Binns?"

I came to check up on you," Remus said kneeling down, "Why don't you just go to Madam Pomfrey, Siri? It's obvious you're really sick."

Sirius didn't answer. Instead he turned back to the toliet, dry heaving. Remus conjured up a wet rag and held it to Sirius' forehead. It was a few minutes before Sirius got his heaving under control.

"Are you alright to move back to the bed? I'll bring a trash can so you don't have to move again."

Sirius shook his head slightly and Remus was confused. "Sirius, there's nothing in your stomach. Surely you can't-"

But Sirius leaned over the toliet once again. Remus watched in worry. He didn't think that Sirius simply had a stomach virus, as he watched the knuckles of Sirius' hands turn white.

When Sirius had stopped Remus questioned him. "Do you think maybe your parents.."

"Poisoned me? Wouldn't be the first time," Sirius replied tonelessly. At Remus' horrified look he added hastily, "Long story, but no they couldn't have. I never once ate nor drank what they had. James sent me food and drink secretly all summer."

Remus let out a breath that he didn't know hw was holding. Then a thought came to him. "Have you ever had the flu before?"

Sirius shook his head and stood up shakily. Remus grabbed him under his arms and they made it slowly to the bed. Sirius collapsed on it, crawling in it. Every part of his body ached.

"That's it. Come on, you're going to Madam Pomfrey."

"But you should go to class.." Sirius protested weakly.

Remus grabbed Sirius back out of the bed and kept a tight arm around his shoulders. Remus only stopped to throw a blanket around Sirius and then they were marching down to the hospital wing. Remus walked in, basically pulling Sirius now. Madam Pomfrey walked over to them.

"What is it, Mr. Lupin," She asked her voice having none of its usual briskness. Sirius teased Remus endlessly on how the old nurse had a soft spot for Remus.

"Sirius is sick. I think he may have the flu."

"The flu? Hmm, w'll see, now won't we. Bring him over here and then you can report back to class."

Remus dropped Sirius off and with a sneaky kiss behind Madam Pomfrety's back walked out, ignoring Sirius' calls of "You'll pay for this!"

Remus ran all the way to Binns' class and managed to slam into his seat before the ghost turned around. James looked at him. Peter was on James' left, doodling on his paper. He looked up when James' elbow accidently hit him.

"I said I'd take notes for the beginning of class not almost half of it. Anyway, how's Padfoot?"

"With Madam Pomfrey. I think he has the flu."

James winced. "I'm glad I've already had it. Have you?"

"Yeah," Remus said taking the notes, "Now hush, I'm trying to listen."

James grinned and laid his head down. He earned this nap.


	2. Chapter 2

**Also, I love the idea of Remus being of a French ancestry, so yes..being his boyfriend Sirius has learned some words.**

**Translations are at bottom. :)**

**And thanks so much for the reviews. They keep me alive. Hehe..no seriously. wink**

**Also, I have no clue if Regulus Black was still at school with Sirius..but here he is. So if he wasn't then this chapter is a bit AU.**

**Oh, and the plot thickens. Just a warning so that you don't think this is just a simple little story. I hit a plot bunny on the way home.**

Chapter 2- The Hospital Wing and Revealings

"Je meurs Remus. Mettent s'il vous plaît juste fin à ma souffrance," Sirius muttered.

Remus shook his head as he pulled the chair closer to Sirius' bed. "Sirius, you are _not _dying. It's just the flu. A rather bad case I must say, but still..you'll live to see better days."

Sirius sighed dramatically. He watched as Remus picked up a piece of cinnamon toast and took a bite off the edge. Sirius groaned.

"I'm so hungry.." he whined.

Remus gestured to the bowl of soup. "Eat this Siri."

Sirius gave him a look that plainly said 'Would you eat it'. Remus sighed as he tore off a tiny piece of his toast.

"If you puke, I'm not holding your head," Remus said dryly.

Sirius slowly licked the edges, where the cinnamon was thickest. He took his time savoring the taste. Finally he stuck it in his mouth. He could taste that butter and he sighed happily. Sirius looked up and noticed that Remus was blushing.

"You know I can't stand it when you do that."

Sirius grinned. "Not my fault you get horny watching me eat."

"You know what I'm talking about Sirius Orion Black," Remus said sternly, it caused Sirius to chuckle. Remus glared.

"If I didn't know you I'd say you were faking. You're too cheerful to be sick with the flu."

"What can I say," Sirius replied without missing a beat, "I'm a cheerful guy."

The hospital doors opened and Sirius felt disgust rise up in him. He watched his younger brother walk toward him and Sirius sat up but was caught from trying to jump out of bed by the lightning reflexes of Remus.

"Sirius il ne le vaut pas. Vous êtes trop faibles pour vous tenir debout beaucoup moins arrivent dans une lutte. Voyons juste qu'il veut, bien?" Remus whispered in Sirius' ear.

Though Sirius didn't understand every word, he caught the gist of it. Sirius got comfortable again as Regulus stopped at the bed.

"Isn't that sweet. You're half mutant boyfriend whispering french endearments."

"What do you want, scum," Sirius asked, his voice cold.

Regulus threw an envelope on Sirius' covered legs. "Here you traitor it's from mum," Regulus' voice quiver slightly when he threw another envelope, "and that's from dad."

Regulus turned and walked away a few feet but then stopped. The younger boy turned and took in the scene of Remus' hand curled slightly around Sirius'. Regulus shook his head.

"I hope dad beats you to another bloody pulp. Though this time I hope your stupid friends hear the big bad Sirius, cry out in agony and beg to die."

Regulus gave a smirk and left the hospital wing. For a moment the hospital wing was quiet with the talk of only a few other patients and their friends. Then it was abruptly filled with angry voices of Sirius' parents. Most of the people in the wing jumped and a couple girls screeched but it wasn't heard over the howlers. Minor chaos began with some of the students yelling to be heard. Some were running to get out of there and Madam Pomfrey had barged out yelling.

Sirius however sat their numb and silent. Remus sat there next to him, quiet and looking at the ground. His hand which had began to drift away from Sirius' was suddenly clutched tightly. When the howlers had ended their reign of terror and burst into ashes, the wing became dead silent.

It remained that way for a good part of the day.

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James yawned as Lily ran a hand through his messy hair.

"I swear James, there has to be some spell or potion to make it managable." Her voice was playful and James opened his eyes.

"Alright you win," He smiled, "I'll give you attention."

Lily grinned and inched closer. James put an arm around her and kissed her forehead. Lily watched groups of students walk around by them. Lily looked back up and James' eyes were closed again. She put a hand to his forehead. His eyes popped open and he pushed her hand away softly.

"I'm not sick, just tired. If we find a potion for my hair then we have got to look for a potion for Peter's snoring."

Relieved Lily chuckled and went back to running her hand through his hair. She watched him until he went to sleep, laying his head on her lap. She couldn't believe how perfectly content she was at the moment. Ecspecially since the person making her feel like this was James Potter. Oh, how she had at first hated him. Then over the years, something happened. Lily wasn't sure, but last year she couldn't deny her feelings anymore. When James tried to sweep her off her feet with another date proposal, she had accepted.

Lily smiled at the image of James' face when she had said yes. It was priceless. She wished that she had had a camera. The portrait door opened and Lily watched Remus walk in slowly. He looked tensed and sad. Lily gently lifted James' head off her lap and caught up with the werewolf.

"Hello Remus. Mind if I walk with you? James appears to find me boring."

Remus gave a small smile at the lie. Having been infatuated with Lily since the first day of first year, everyone knew James would never find Lily boring.

"I don't know. I.."

Lily stood in front of him. "Looks like you need to vent. I'm willing to listen."

Remus wanted to argue but he found himself nodding. Lily followed him up in the dorm, a place she wasn't unfamaliar with, and sat upon James' bed. She absently noticed it smelt of him and she couldn't help the smile that crept on her face.

"You two were meant for each other."

Remus' voice cut into her thoughts and she realized she had almost forgotten he was here. Remus sat on Peters' bed, feeling a bit uncomfortable. Lily sat up on the edge of the bed.

"I suppose so. But we're not here to talk about me and James. What did Sirius do?"

Remus shook his head. "No, no. He didn't do anything. It was the sitation."

Lily listened carefully as Remus told her of what had happened earlier that day in the hospital wing. Remus stood up pacing, something she noticed he did when he felt pressured or unsure of things.

"I don't know what to do Lily. I love him so much but if being with him is going to cause so much.."

"It's only his family-"

"No!" Remus turned toward her. She could tell that this was something he had been holding inand now it was all going to blow out. "You all don't realize because Sirius told me to keep it secret. It's not just his family. A lot of the student body is..is..predjudice against us. They talk about us, leave hurtful notes and things in our books and bags. I'm tired of it all!"

Remus shoved a table aside and the books, quills and ink bottles fell with a crash. Lily stood up putting a restraining arm on Remus' shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Remus looked at her. " I told you, Sirius didn't want any of you to know."

"How come?" She made him sit back down. This time though she sat beside him.

"He said that he was tired of fighting and didn't want to make a big deal out of it," Remus whispered.

Lily shook her head in puzzlement. "Fighting? What do you mean?"

Remus looked at her, his honeyed eyes growing red. "Please Lily, I just want to be alone."

Lily put aside the demanding curiosity and nodded. "If you need me Remus.."

She walked out of the dorm she ran right into James. He caught her before she fell. She pulled her back downstairs. When they had reached an empty part of the common room, James grinned.

"If Remus wasn't gay, I'd say you were hooking up with him behind my back."

He caught look of her face and he stopped. "What is it?"

Lily looked toward the staircase and decided it was too risky. "Come with me to my dorm. There's something you should know."

James followed her without question. Lily spotted Peter playing Wizard's Chess with his girlfriend, Deedee Harris and she grabbed him up out of the chair.

"Go to bed," she said and then lowered her voice, "Remus is up there and he's upset. I don't want him up there alone."

Peter nodded and she grabbed him again when he turned around.

"What?" He asked surprised at the sudden grab.

"Don't ask questions."

"Alright," Peter replied a bit annoyed. He walked off a little ways with Deedee explaining. Giving her a kiss goodnight, he walked up the stairs. Satisfied that Remus wouldn't be alone, Lily hurried James up to her dorm, ready to tell him what she had just learned. Remus and Sirius wouldn't have to deal with this anymore if she had anything to do with it. Lily closed the door. Also, she was going to find out about Sirius and why he never talked about family.

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Translations-

1) I'm dying Remus. Please just end my suffering.

2) Sirius he isn't worth it. You're too weak to stand much less fight. Let's just see what he wants.


	3. Chapter 3

**Reviews, reviews reviews. Oh! how I love them. Does a little Irish jig**

**Seems no one really had a problem with last chapter, so I think I'll continue. Sound good to you guys?**

Chapter 3- Fights and broken rules

Lily sat glaring her arms crossed. James was standing with his back to her, looking out the window.

"I'm sorry, but it's not my buisness to tell, Lily. Sirius swore me to secrecy in our second year."

"James, please. I understand your little code of silence-"

"He's my best mate. I won't give it away."

Lily sighed and stood stretching. She walked over there putting her arms around him. She licked at his ear, a rather sensitive place for him. She ran a hand up and down his back.

"I'm your girlfriend James. Besides-"

James turned and pushed her away from him. His face was shocked and full of anger.

"I never thought I'd think of you this way. You're acting like a slut to get me to tell you information! Information you don't need to know! No, _Evans,_ I'm glad you're trying to help, but if you ever do something like that again...it's over!"

James stormed to the door, yanking it open. He turned around and faced her. The anger was gone, filled by disappointment.

"It was no little code of silence. It was the beginning of a friendship I have never regretted having."

James walked out and Lily sat down on the nearest bed. They just had their first little spat and it was all because of her. Guilt spilled through her and she sighed. She knew James was right, but she had so desperately wanted to know and that had gotten her into trouble. She walked over to her own bed. Lily knew she had to find a way to fix this.

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Sirius grabbed the potion in a hurry and downed its contents. He sat up, his back hurting from leaning over the toliet for so long. He wiped a shaking hand across his sweaty forehead. He felt horrible and as he stood up slowly black spots danced in front of his eyes. Sirius made his way back to his bed on wobbly legs.

Feeling the smooth, cold sheets Sirius dropped on top of them. He looked around the dark hospital wing, watchinge veryone sleep peacefully. Truth was, whenever Sirius got sick, he barely ever slept at night. It was almost as if had turned nocturnal. Sirius hated it too. He hated the enclosing darkness of the night, but only if he was alone. If someone was there with him, it was wonderful.

Sirius stood back up slowly walking toward one of the tall windows. He sat down shaking under his robe and the blanket he stole. He couldn't stop shaking though he wasn't all that cold. Looking at the moon, Sirius realized it was only a couple days way from the full moon. Remus wouldn't be asleep right now. He barely slept during this time. Sirius crept out of the hospital wing. He didn't want to be alone tonight and since he took the potion he wouldn't be puking anymore. Tonight, that is.

He climbed the stairs, having to stop every few steps. He was already winded and felt dizzy, but being determined he kept on. What seemed like an eternity later Sirius made it into the common room. No one was in there, which was good. Sirius stopped at the stairs before pulling himself up them. He entered his dorm quietly and saw Remus' bed was empty. On further investigation Sirius saw his boyfriend sitting on his bed.

"Remus?"

Remus turned and Sirius could see a tear reflect the little light the night sky gave off. Sirius felt his heart drop at the sight. Remus turned back around, trying to clear his face of all evidence. Sirius came and sat beside him.

"What are you doing here?" Remus relied quietly, "You're going to get worse."

Sirius didn't answer. Instead he gently made Remus look at him. "What is it, love?"

Remus fell onto Sirus and gave a shake of the head. "Sirius do you love me?"

Sirius put his arms around Remus. "You know I do. Why do doubt it? Remus.."

"What?"

Sirius gave a sigh. "I know what happened earlier upset you. I'm sorry you had to witness that. I never want you to hurt and you won't ever, if I have any say in it." Remus gave a smile. "But I just want you to know, that I'd die before I ever stopped being with you and loving you."

Remus sat up storking Sirius' heated face. "You're running a fever."

"Remus please.."

Remus looked Sirius straight in the face. "I understand Sirius. I love you too, so much."

Sirius gave a small smile. "Good."

Remus pushed out of Sirius' arms and instead put his arms around Sirius. "You're shaking," Remus remarked concerned."

Sirius nodded, feeling extremely tired. "I don't know why. Can't seem to stop. I didn't want to be alone tonight. Can't sleep.."

Remus leaned against the headboard so that Sirius could be in a laying position. "Madam Pomfrey is going to be furious."

"Don't care. Just don't let me go. Can't seem to," Sirius yawned, "Sleep."

Remus kissed the top of his head. "Don't worry. I'd never let you go."

Remus sat there holding the sleeping Sirius. He didn't even know he had fallen asleep until JAmes was poking his shoulder and whispering.

"Remus, get up. We have class in a hour."

Remus blinked awake and nodded. "Alright."

James nodded to Sirius. "What's he doing here? Is it his secret mission in life to get us all sick or in trouble?"

Remus gave a smile and brushed the hair off Sirius' face. "I would think so. He does nothing else."

James shook his head and waved. "I'm going to breakfast. Catch you guys later."

James bounded out the door with Peter in tow. Remus sat up his backa bit stiff from the position he had stayed in. Sirius immediately awoke.

"Rem...?" Sirius voice was hoarse.

"Shush..it's ok. I just have to get ready for class."

Sirius sat up and letting Remus stand and stretch. Sirius laid back down. Remus gave him a side glance as he slipped on his pants. Usually Sirius gave a smart remark but today Remus didn't get anything, only rough coughing. He stopped and really looked at Sirius.

"You don't look good."

Sirius looked up at him. "Oh? Well I feel perfect," Sirius said sarcastically and turned over away from Remus, who rolled his eyes.

"Well I'm going to class now. I'll drop by and tell Madam Pomfrey where you are at, even though she most likely already knows."

Sirius didn't answer so Remus hoisted his back over his shoulder and left the room. Sirius watched his back and sat up.

"Rem?" No answer. Sirius called a bit louder. Still nothing. Sirius sighed wishing he had told Remus to help him back down to the hospital wing. He felt horrible, worse in fact. Sirius laid back down, shivering under the blankets and closed his eyes. The nausea was killing him and his whole enitre body ached.

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James turned as he felt someone poke his shoulder. Beside him Remus stopped, waiting. James found Lily waiting and he turned back around and grabbed Remus by the arm.

"Let's go Remus."

Lily however ran in front of them, stopping James with a hand to his chest. "James, please?"

Remus looked between the two. "Look I'll just go on. I have to go talk to Madam Pomfrey anyway. I'll meet you there, alright."

James nodded and Lily gave Remus a grateful smile. She took James' arm and led him to an empty spot on the hall. Remus continued his way around the corner and when he was out of sight Lily faced James straight on.

"I want to apologize."

"Oh you do, do you?" James said, clearly not wanting to hear any of it.

"Yes, I do and I won't be giving you any excuses because there aren't any. I was trying to make you tell me and that was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Alright," James replied and pushed passed her. Lily turned around, totally crushed.

"James!" She cried. He turned back around. Lily couldn't keep her eyes from becoming a little watery.

"I really am..sorry."

James sighed and looked away. Lily looked at the ground and was surprised when she was enveloped by arms.

'Don't cry, ok. I can't stand it when people cry, least you. Look, alright. I accept your apology. Now come on, we're going to be late."

Lily nodded and grabbed his hand. She was instantly glad when he squeezed hers and they left for class.

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Remus took the bottle of potion from Madam Pomfrey with a thanks. He carefully set it down in his bag and headed off for class. He was almost there when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Where's your boyfriend, you bloody faggot," the voice sneered.

Remus turned to face a Slytherin by the name of Derek Stanely. Derek was half and half but had enough hate and evil in him to be counted as the purest Slytherin. Remus knew that Derek most of all despised homosexuals because his own muggle father was one. His father was a muggle doctor and his mum was a healer at St. Mungo's. Derek's father had died of some disease. They say it was from an open needle, Derek has always blamed it on his father's lover.

"He's sick," Remus replied coolly and then turned aroun. He was forcibly turned back around.

"Sick?" For a moment Remus could see Derek's painful past but it quickly washed away. "Did you make him sick? Bet you did, probably bit him. I hope he dies."

Derek pushed him back walking away to join fellow classmates and Remus walked into his own classroom, angry and worried. He knew it wasn't true, but when Derek said bit. It hit a sensitive spot in Remus.

Bit.

James was watching Lily talk to her friends when Remus came in and slammed his books down. He sat down roughly in the chair, trying to kill the urge to strangle someone and run up there to Sirius. James faced him bravely.

"What is it?"

Remus closed his eyes unable to answer but James knew only one person could do this to the usual mild tempered werewolf.

"What he say today?"

"Nothing really. It just hit a nerve. He asked where Sirius was and I told Derek he is sick. Derek said that I did it because I probably..bit him."

James winced. "You-"

"Yes I know!" Remus replied sharply. The werewolf took a deep breath and was interrupted by Professor MacGonagall calling the class to attention. James turned to face the front and they were treated to a lesson about transfiguring a singing parrot into a silent working lamp. Though the lesson was cut short when Peter set the entire work desk on fire, leaving James schorched and laughing and Remus in an even more bitter mood.

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Sirius awoke with a yell. He gasped in air trying not to sob. He could still hear the voice yelling at him and the pain. The never ending pain. Sirius shot off the bed and towards the bathroom. He wanted to puke so much. There was nothing in his stomach but he felt sickened and it wasn't from the flu. Sirius laid his head on the cold toliet seat and moaned.

He could still feel the phantom pain of those hands pressing him down. Hurting him, groping him.

Those hands that hurt him so much over the years and went to a new height of pain over the summer.

The hands of his father.

Sirius curled in a ball and screamed.

**I just can't keep those blasted plot bunnies off the road. :) Hope you guys enjoyed. I'm having a very fun time writting this story. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Reviews! Wow..!** **falls out of chair ...beep...beep...be..be...**

Chapter 4- What's normal anyway?

Sirius leaned over his parchment and let out an angered breath of air. He was up to his chin in homework and had only two days to complete it all. Right now, he was working a very tedious potions essay and James wasn't helping. The messy haired wizard was talking a mile a minute about how great Gryffindor had played yesterday and the things they could've done better. Remus was sitting across from him, reading a book and Peter had gone off with Deedee.

Sirius sighed a relief when James had stopped but when the marauder started again Sirius shot up.

"James shut the hell up! I'm trying to bloody work my arse off here!"

Sirius sat back down as James cleared his throat. "Sorry mate," James replied. Sirius could hear it in James' voice that he wasn't upset and Sirius was glad. He hadn't meant to blow up, it just came out.

"Oh by the way, one more thing. Our beater is in the hospital wing for some reason. Can you fill in Friday?"

Sirius looked at him and nodded. "Yeah sure."

James grinned. "Cool, now to find Lils..."

Sirius looked back down at his work as James walked away. He felt a pair of soft hands massaging the back of his head. Sirius looked up to see Remus sitting down beside him. Sirius threw down his quill and leaned into Remus, who held him without question. For a moment at least.

"What's wrong? For the past week you've been..on edge. What happened to my cheerful Padfoot?"

Sirius turned so he was looking at Remus. "No-"

"Don't you even say it," Remus replied.

"I haven't been..sleeping."

"I've noticed, which I might add is highly unusual for you. Though you already knew that."

Sirius yawned. "I'm so tired," He whined. Remus sighed. "I do hate it when you whine."

Sirius grinned and kissed Remus' nose. "You liar. You love every part of me, especially one part over all the rest."

Remus slapped Sirius hard while blushing. "Sirius!"

Sirius chuckled and snuggled in Remus' arms. "I wish I could spend forever in your arms. Everything seems better," Sirius said softly.

Remus stopped smiling. "Sirius..what is it?"

Sirius shook his head against Remus' chest. "There's too much Remus. So it's better to say nothing. Nothing at all."

"What are you talking about? Sirius, you're scaring me."

"I'm sorry," Sirius muttered, brushing his lips against Remus' stubbled cheek. Remus, unsure of what to do, held Sirius tightly.

"Sirius.."

"No. No more talking, ok? I'm tired of talking."

"Well, come on. Let's go on up to bed," Remus said instead. Though he wasn't sure that was the right thing.

Sirius got off Remus and without bothering to pick up his books he grabbed Remus and led the confused werewolf up to the dorms and into the latters' bed. Sirius snuggled up to Remus, his face on Remus' chest. Sirius lay there, listening to Remus' heart. The constant pounding and breathing sounds lulled him into a sleepy haze. He barely noticed when James came in and he couldn't really hear what Remus and James were talking about. Something about weird and in a minute. Sirius didn't pay attention to that. Only the constant hammering of the heart underneath him.

Sirius closed his eyes.

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Remus sat down in the common room, making notes on a piece of parchment. He figured since he had already done his homework he'd help Sirius do all his makeup. Remus glanced to the dorms, where he had left Sirius sleeping soundly on his bed. Remus sighed and closed the book with a small snap. James and Lily came and sat across from him.

"We're going to get something to eat, wanna come?" James asked and then Remus noticed the map and invisibility cloak in hand.

Remus glanced up at the dorm one more time about to say no but he found his mouth and voice box saying the words, "Yeah, sure."

James look a bit surprised for a minute then grinned. "Great! Let's go."

Remus stood and James threw the cloak over the three of them, with Lily in the middle. They snuck down to the kitchens with hardly any trouble. Lily leaned forward and tickled the pear and they stepped into the kitchen. James looked at the two of them.

"Order up!" He said brightly then turned back to the bowing house elves, "Can I have a couple pieces of trecle tart, some pudding and three pumpkin juices?"

Remus walked forward. "Anything chocolate, please."

The house elves bowed again and rushed to do their bidding. Lily sat upon a stool and they sat there in silence for a few moments. When the house elves brought their food, Remus and James began talking about Quidditch and the next full moon. Lily, however was contemplating silently. Finally when a break had made its way in Remus' and James' small talk Lily blurted out.

"How often does Sirius' dad beat him?"

Remus sucked in some juice too quickly and coughed, trying to clear his windpipe. James refused to look at her and Lily felt that maybe she should just leave it alone, but she had to know.

Remus looked at her. "What are you talking about?"

Lily raised her eyebrows, trying to appear confident. "Well, everyone saw what happened at the train. Then a couple weeks ago you said he was tired of fighting everything. He doesn't ever talk about them, his own brother is here at school and I've never seen them even look at each other. I want to know."

Remus shook his head. "No you don't." Remus looked at James. "I'd tell your girlfriend to mind her own buisness. She might just get in the wrong kind."

Remus stalked out of the portrait door and as soon as it closed James rounded on Lily.

"What the bloody hell Lily?"

Lily jumped off the stool. "If you would just tell me James!"

"Why do you want to know so damn bad?" James shouted marching out of the portrait. He looked down both sides of the hallway and didn't see Remus anywhere.

"Because it's not fair that Sirius gets whatever at home and then comes to school just to beat upon by other students. I want to know what he has to face at home that makes him keep that little part from us."

James glared at her. "What will knowing do?"

"I don't know," Lily cried out frusturated, "I just don't know. All I know is that Sirius is my friend too." She lowered her voice. "Haven't you noticed how odd he's been acting? He's not the same."

James leaned against the wall and replied, "Yeah I've noticed. But I don't go around asking what isn't my business."

Lily growled. "That's the problem with you boys. You think that asking questions about something you know is wrong is getting into their business. Sometimes, its better to poke your nose in something than let your friend suffer in silence!"

Lily walked off leaving James alone in the corridor. He stayed there for a few minutes when he heard footsteps. He turned to see Remus walking toward him.

"She is right you know. But hell, James. I've tried..he just won't open up."

James looked at his friend in concern. "Lily told me a couple days ago that it's not only the one kid ganging up on you two. She said that others do it too. Is..is that true?"

Remus nodded as he muttered, "Sirius didn't want me to say anything. So far, it hasn't been anything serious."

"People sicken me sometimes."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a minute. "We should probably start heading back to the dorm," Remus broke in.

James pushed off the wall and the two of them took the first stair case to their left. "So you've no idea what's going on with him?"

"No. He said he's not been sleeping, which is unusual for him. I can't think of anything..I mean it's not like Sirius isn't used to getting beat. He can't be having nightmares or anything about that now..can he? I mean it never bothered him this bad."

James shrugged. "Maybe it's gotten worse and we just don't know it."

Remus looked grim and answered, "That's what I'm afraid of."

As soon as they entered Gryffindor tower they knew something was wrong. The entire common room was silent and everyone was watching the boys' dorm room stairs. Just then Peter came running up to them.

"He's gone mad!" Peter cried, "He was having a nightmare so I went over there and simply touched his shoulder. He got up screaming and yelling 'Not again. Please!' and tearing the whole dorm apart."

Remus pushed passed Peter and he could feel James right on his heels. He vaguely heard James yell, "Mind your damn buisness Gryffindor!" Remus burst intot he room. Peter was right the whole dorm was a mess. James stopped at Remus' shoulder. Books, quills and ink bottles were thrown and smashed. Bed coverings were ripped and torn off the beds. The mirror in the bathroom had been broken and by the blood it looked as though Sirius had punched it.

Remus looked around as he stepped into the dorm and saw the one thing he cared about most sitting on the floor crying. Remus walked over there taking Sirius in his arms. He was rewarded with Sirius clutching on to him for dear life. James turned away, too his wand out and began to clean up the mess. For a few moments Sirius just sat there crying his heart out on Remus' shoulder and Remus sat there holding him, terrified.

"Sirius.."

Sirius shook his head. "No please..Rem..don't make me, please."

Remus held Sirius' face so that he could pear into it. He repeated, "Sirius, tell me what he did to you."

"I can't handle it anymore."

"Tell me Sirius."

James stopped cleaning and walked so that he was in front of them. Sirius turned to look at James, the latter not sure of what to do nodded.

"We're worried about you Padfoot," James said. He was never good at this comforting thing, unlike Remus. Sirius' face crumbled up again as he hid in Remus' shoulder.

"I keep having dreams about it," Sirius said and though this voice was muffled the two could make out every word, "I thought I had dealt with it at the end of the summer..but..it all came back. I don't know why and I want to forget so bad."

"About your father?" Remus asked at the same time James said, "Dreams of your father beating you?"

Sirius nodded and then shook his head. "About my f-father yes..but he doesn't just beat me anymore."

Sirius lifted his head and looked at Remus. Remus felt his heart beat faster.

"Over the summer my f-father," Sirius took a shaky breath," He r-raped me. I don't know how many times. He'd drug me and play around with me...it was different but it all ended the same."

Sirius' voice grew a bit hysteric. "I couldn't stop him and one time mum came in. She cursed at him and they got into a fight and I thought it would all be over. But there he was again. He thought that I had told her so he.."

Sirius broke off with a sob. Remus felt his heart stop as James let out an angered, "Damn him!"

"I couldn't tell you. I couldn't..I wanted to so bad. I..I'm sor-"

"Shut up Sirius," Remus said with much force, "Don't you bloody say you're sorry. My god Sirius.."

The three of them sat there and didn't move until Peter and Lily came in, announcing that dinner had long ago passed and everyone was going to bed. James had moved then to kiss Lily on the cheek and reasurring her that everything was alright and that he'd talk to her later. Peter sat on his own bed.

Remus however sat there holding Sirius. This new information had stunned him. He didn't know what to think ot what to say. Sirius didn't seem to want to move either. James finished cleaning and stepped in front of Remus.

"We all should try to get some sleep. We have classes tomorrow."

Remus stood, bringing Sirius up with him. James gave Sirius a one armed hug and left for his own bed. Remus pushed Sirius into his bed and pulled the animagus to him. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus.

"Remus?" Sirius whispered when the all the lights went out.

"Yeah?" Remus whispered back, planting a kiss on Sirius' lips.

"I don't know where to go from here."

"We'll figure it out, I promise Siri."

"We?"

"It will always be we, love. Always."

Sirius didn't answer and Remus didn't need one. They lay there, listening to the sounds of the night. When Sirius closed his eyes he felt safe. Safer than he had in a very long time.

**Ok. I have to admit this chapter isn't as good as the other ones. I don't know why..I just couldn't..I don't know. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Whew, talk about no time anymore. Sorry I have a busy past week and a half. Thanks for the reviews on that horrible chapter. One of my faithful reviewers was right, it didn't flow well. And I apologize. I will do better!**

**This is the last chapter and it is short and it's AU.**

Chapter 5- Hope for the future

Over the next weeks Remus watched Sirius change. On the outside, it was the same Sirius everyone had always known, but Remus could tell by Sirius' body language and eyes that everthing wasn't back to normal. Remus didn't ever think it would be anyway. Everytime Sirius was touched Remus now noticed the fear and panic that shot through them and it was covered up quickly. Remus couldn't believe he couldn't tell what it was earlier. He sort of blamed himself.

Right now however it was Remus and Sirius. They were laid up in the snug dorms, while the rest of the group was outside, playing in the early snow fall. Remus had taken up reading the past ten minutes because Sirius had drifted off. Now he was at a particularly good part in the muggle mystery book when he felt an unexpected source of heat snuggled up to his left side. He put his book down on the right and curled an arm around his boyfriend.

No words were said. Remus didn't even look down. They just sat there in content silence. After awhile Remus noticed the sun had gone down. He looked down when he a small kiss on his arm.

"Things will get better," Sirius said.

"I know," Remus answered.

Sirius nodded not trusting his voice anymore.

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Sirius walked Remus to the train, carrying the werewolf's luggage for him. Remus turned toward him, looking straight into his eyes.

"You should come with me. Mum and dad would love to-"

"Have fun Remus," Sirius inserted with a small smile. Remus could tell it wasn't a true one.

"I don't want to leave you by yourself."

Sirius gave Remus a long kiss. "I'll be fine Rem."

Remus turned and walked off but was stopped by Sirius' yell of, "Don't forget. I love you!"

He turned around and waved. "I love you too Sirius Black! I love you too!"

Remus saw a true smile appear on Sirius' face and returned one. He then boarded the train. He found an empty compartment and scooted towards the window. He looked all over but didn't see Sirius anywhere. Remus sat back opening a book and begun to read.

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Sirus tucked away the small note and left it on Remus' pillow. He began to have doubts when flashes of Remus poured through his mind. But he knew he couldn't back down, he just hoped Remus and James would understand one day.

He hope Remus would still love him.

Remus.

_I love you._

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Remus walked the stairs slowly to the dorm. He entered the silent room and walked toward the place where they said the note was lying. He ripped it open sitting down on what used to be Sirius' bed.

What used to be...

Remus felt a few tears trickle out. They landed on the opened note and Remus could barely read Sirius' messy handwriting.

_Remus,_

_I'm sorry for one thing. I never thought it would come to this. But things and people change. And sometimes..you can't get away from the stuff that haunts you._

_I told you that I love you. And I meant it everytime I said it._

_Please don't hate me. _

_I know you understand me more than anyone. You have to be haunted everyday too. Though the situations are different the feelings are the same. It just so happens you're much stronger than I ever could be._

_I'm not saying anything to excuse the pain I've brought on to you._

_I know I'm being selfish by taking my own life._

_I can only hope in time you'll learn to forgive me._

_After all, things will get better now. I know it._

_I'll love you forever,_

_Sirius Orion Black-Lupin._

Remus looked away from the note and at the window. He got up and sat there, knowing that Sirius had sat here. It was one of his favorite spots because it had a great view of the castle grounds. Remus crumbled the note in a shaking fist.

After all, things will get better now. I know it.

For some strange reason, Remus almost believe him.

Almost.

For the first time in two weeks since he had recieved the news of Sirius' suicide, Remus felt tired and closed his eyes. He saw Sirius' face clearly and with the good times out weighing the bad for right now Remus let himself sleep.

For in dreams, the dying and the living can be one. Because in dreams, anything is possible.

**Thanks for everyone reviewing. I don't know how you guys like the end of it..but that's how it ends.**


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